Coping with Stress Reactions after Injury or Illness

child and family coping with injury and illness

Coping with stress reactions is common after a serious illness, injury, or a hospital stay. Even though it is your child who is ill or injured, your whole family can be affected. It’s normal for you, as a parent, to feel overwhelmed trying to help your family or yourself cope. You might notice that you and your family members feel stressed about different parts of the illness or injury:

Children may feel scared about being alone in a hospital with strange sounds, smells, and people, and about being separated from their friends and family.
Parents may feel helpless seeing their child in pain or uncomfortable, or may be scared that their child might die.

Many parents have trouble coping with stress reactions, also called traumatic stress symptoms, when their child is very ill or injured or in the hospital.

Hospitals can be distressing or traumatic for children, teens and parents in many ways:

Not knowing what will happen next
Seeing medical equipment that looks or sounds scary
Being in pain or going through painful procedures
Fear of dying
Being left alone
Side-effects or complications of treatment
Concerns about relapse, a noticeable injury or being permanently injured
Being separated from siblings, friends, and pets
Changes in appearance- hair loss, weight loss/gain, scars, use of wheelchair, etc.
Seeing other hurt or sick children or knowing others in the hospital who have died
Fear about what others will think of them being sick or in the hospital

Signs and symptoms of traumatic stress include reliving what happened (re-experiencing), staying away from reminders (avoidance), feeling anxious or jumpy (hyper-arousal), being easily upset or angry, being irritable or uncooperative, and/or feeling empty or numb. Children, teens, and parents having trouble coping with stress reactions may show these signs and symptoms in different ways based on their age. and/or at different times (at the hospital, after the hospital, months/years later):

Young children might experience a feeling of helplessness and anxiety expressed as a loss of previously acquired developmental skills. For example, wetting the bed or sucking their thumb. They might have nightmares or temper tantrums. They may also fear separation from parents of caregivers.
School aged children may have feelings of concern over their own safety and the safety of others. They may feel the injury or illness is their fault. They are likely to use their imagination to fill in what they do not understand. Their concentration and sleep may also be impacted.
Teens may experience feelings of fear, vulnerability, shame, or guilt. They may try to act more grown up or cover up their feelings. They may feel self-conscious or upset about “not fitting in” with their friends. Some adolescents may engage in self-destructive or accident prone behaviors.
Parents may feel “on guard” or be overprotective. You may have a short fuse, trouble eating or sleeping, and get upset at seeing their child in pain or discomfort. Most parents will feel overwhelmed about caring for their child’s medical needs as well as the needs of other children/spouse/family. You may worry in private that your child might die, but not want to share your worries with anyone.

With information, support, and talking about their experience, most children and families are able to cope with these stress reactions.

Many parents share common worries about recovery and coping with stress reactions, such as:

Coping with a Child's Injury and Illness: Resources for Families - 20th Anniversary Webinar

If you are looking to view this webinar for APA continuing education credit, please log in and view it here instead.

Coping with Stress Reactions: Resources for Children and Teens (English/Spanish):

InvisiYouth helps teens and young adults around the world with various chronic illnesses and disabilities with lifestyle programs, empowerment tools and fun resources

Band-Aides and Blackboards is fun interactive website for kids and teens growing up with medical problems.

The Experience Journals are a collection of stories for children and teens living with physical or emotional illness.

Nemours KidsHealth offers online information about child health, behavior, and development for kids / niños and teens / adolescentes.

Coping with Stress Reactions: Resources for Parents (English/Spanish):

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) features a section on Resources for Parents and Caregivers / Información para Padres, Cuidadores y Familias in English and Spanish.

After The Injury helps parents understand their child's reactions to injury and learn what they can do to help their child. Also in Spanish: AfterThe Injury en español

CopingSpace, from Case for Smiles, provides information to help parents understand and cope with their own responses to their child's life-changing illness or injury.

Beyond the Cure offers information and resources for survivors of childhood cancer and their families. Listen to a teleconference presented by Anne Kazak, PhD, ABPP of the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia on Parenting a Child with Cancer: Have You Hugged Yourself Today?

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) features a section For Families / Para la Familia offering educational handouts in several languages on issues like childhood chronic illness and posttraumatic stress disorder.

The American Psychological Association (APA) has information and resources related to trauma, posttraumatic stress disorder, child issues, and a search for local psychologists across the US.

Nemours KidsHealth offers information about child health, behavior, and development for parents / padres.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) has created a booklet Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters: What Parents Can Do / Ayudando a Niños y Adolescentes a Superar la Violencia y los Desastres: Que Pueden Hacer los Padres.

Distracting Children During Medical Procedures: Resources for Parents

These resources, created by researchers at the University of Iowa, are aimed at helping parents and providers minimize pain and distress during a child's procedures through distraction.

Parents can learn more and learn how to use distraction techniques to help children during medical procedures in these "Distraction in Action" videos

At this site, parents can also sign up (for free) to use the Distraction in Action Tool, a web-based tool that provides parents with specific recommendations on how to use distraction with their child.

Additionally, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation has developed a Procedural Anxiety Guide for patients and caregivers to help manage anxiety associated with painful or uncomfortable procedures.

Books and reading materials for parents

Children and Trauma: A Guide For Parents and Professionals.
Cynthia Monahon, Jossey-Bass Publishers; San Francisco; 1997

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries and Phobias.
Tamar Chansky, Broadway Books; New York; 2004

A Parent's Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings.
Kenneth R. Ginsburg & Martha M. Jablow. Published by the American Academy of Pediatrics; 2006

Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parents Guide to Preventing and Managing Medical Trauma.
Meghan L. Marsac and Melissa J. Hogan; 2021.

Books and reading materials for children and teens

What to Do What You're Scared and Worried: A Guide for Kids.
James J. Crist, Free Spirit Publishing; Minneapolis; 2004

What to Do When You're Sad & Lonely: A Guide for Kids.
James J. Crist, Free Spirit Publishing; Minneapolis; 2004

When I Feel Scared. (for young children)
Cornelia Maude Spelman, Albert Whitman & Co.; Morton Grove; 2002

What About Me? When Brothers and Sisters Get Sick
Allan Peterkin, Magination Press; Washington D.C., 1992

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